I used to be different and still, I am the same on the core

Everybody grows, everybody has different experiences, lives different stories and of course these change you  - at least on a superficial way…

You see, I would say that yes, I am not the same person as the one who I was five years ago. I am more considerate. I do not rush into impulsiveness as I used to. Also, I do not let emotions overwhelm me… at least, I would say so.

Am I proud of that? Do I do that on purpose? No and no.

I have always seen myself as an open person, open-minded and open-hearted, and being considerate makes me actually colder than I would want to be. But as I said… I do not do it on purpose.

Probably, it is a defense mechanism which I have installed in all the past years: like a shield which protects my thoughts on the inside and does not expose them too much.

Of course, I also am not like that all the time! It would be awfully terrible to never show off your feelings and constantly hiding behind a shield and frankly, I also do not want to be like a snow queen. I maybe just need a little bit of more time than earlier to open up myself - so bare with me.

Maybe one or two Campari Os also help to speak out and say the things which have been going through my head for the last few days… indeed also the Romans said “In vino veritas”.

Last week e.g., I had a conversation with a person who I had not seen in years and this person asked me if I still believe in the things I did earlier and yes! I do! And this is what I think explains why I am still the same - on my core, I have the same mentality, I want the same things, I also listen to the same kind of music...

I do not know if there is a right or wrong in changing or not. I am not here to judge, only to share my perspective and my experience. But I can tell you that lots of people in my life told me that I should never change and stay as I am because that is what makes me me - and in the long run, I am sure that I will continue being the same on the core.